2 Years Later

Two years ago something happened that has changed my life as well as so many others. Two years ago I was sitting at the university library studying for an exam. It was around 9pm and all of a sudden voices started rising over the stacks. These were not normal chatting voices, but rather voices of concern. I heard a few phrases, but nothing too substantial; "accident", "some students", "no one knows". Thirty minutes later there was an announcement, "There will be an emergency prayer meeting in the chapel at 10:30 pm concerning an accident on I-69." That was it.

I stayed at the library while everyone else left, I had a test the next day and could not have known what was actually happening. Little did I know that what had happened would shape the next few months of my life.

That night we had a better idea of what was going on:

Taylor University Van, Tractor-Trailer Involved In Wreck

POSTED: 9:58 pm EDT April 26, 2006

UPDATED: 12:09 am EDT April 27, 2006

MARION, Ind. -- Five people believed to be associated with Taylor University were killed and five people were injured in a two-vehicle crash on Interstate 69 on Wednesday evening, officials said.Police said a northbound truck crashed through a median and struck a Taylor van in the southbound lanes near Marion at about 8:10 p.m. Five people in the van were killed, and four van occupants and the truck driver were injured, according to police.Taylor spokesman Jim Garringer said the van's nine occupants were part of a group that was helping set up for a banquet at the school's Fort Wayne campus. Information on whether any of the occupants were students wasn't available.No names were immediately released. Police said the injured were taken to hospitals in Fort Wayne and Marion, but information on their conditions was not available.The wreck prompted authorities to close I-69 in both directions near the crash site. By 11:15 p.m., at least one northbound lanes was open but the southbound lanes were still closed.Garringer said the van was headed to Taylor's main campus in Upland, about 10 miles southeast of the crash site. Copyright 2006 by TheIndyChannel.com.

Even that night, no one knew who was involved... but there were rumors. By the time I woke up the next morning at 5 am to watch the news I remember praying to God that the names I had heard were not true... As I watch the news my heart sank, "Betsy Smith, Brad Larson, Laurel Erb, Whitney Cerak, and Monica Felver"... the names and pictures were there, but I could not comprehend what was going on. However, I felt like God had thrown us a bone... Laura VanRyn was in the hospital, albeit in severe condition, but still alive.

In the midst of the grieving, my friends and I were praising God that our teammate had made it out alive... and we were doing everything to keep our energy focused on that:

Thursday, April 27, 2006 (from my blog at the time)
please pray for laura van ryn... she is the student still in the icu. she has undergone two surgeries and slipped into a coma around 10.30 today. i went with some other lacrosse girls to the hospital today. the family is holding in, but please continue to pray for them. also pray for her boyfriend as he has also come down to be with her. pray that she comes out of the coma as soon as possible and that there is no brain damage (they haven't yet been able to assess this).

laura, your friends are praying for you. the lacrosse team is grieving and praying so much for you, you always lit up the field.

The school continued to grieve, and we joined in the process. I hadn't know anyone else involved in the crash except for Laura and Betsy. Betsy was AMAZING! She was the type of girl who everyone knew and loved to be around... she was an inspiration and a role model, highly involved in community service and on campus. She had amazing dreams and an amazing smile. She was also close friends with the guys living next door and a friend of my roommate at the time.

I don't remember a lot that happened during the months of April and May... but I do remember sitting in the memorial service, driving past the trench the trunk made and feeling sick to my stomach, a sense of heaviness on campus, the song sung by the Chorale, and graduation.

At graduation there were 3 black chairs with white ribbons representing the posthumous degrees being awarded, and Laura's sister accepted her degree. Although it was a somber time, it also marked the end to the grieving. It was a time to step past the events and start living again.

After graduation I stayed at school to complete research. Towards the end of the month we got an email saying there was a mandatory meeting, although it wasn't really mandatory for me I decided to go with my co-researcher and our PI. On the way we postulated what the meeting could be about. Dr. J mentioned that the Cerak's were filing a lawsuit against the driver, it was probably trying to get everyone on the same page.

As we sat down and got ready for what we thought was going to be a rather monotonous meeting we were shocked. Dr. H got up and started, "Over the past few weeks it has come to the university's attention that there might have been an identification mistake. The inquiries into the matter have been looked into and this morning confirmed. Based on dental records it appears that Whitney Cerak was the sole student survivor of the accident on April 26th."

At this moment I started convulsing and trying to hide the tears.

Dr. H continued, "Laura VanRyn was actually a victim of the accident."

I don't remember anything else he said, but sat there wondering what was going on while trying not to cry. Eventually I had to leave; I sat in the hall until the closing prayer.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006 (from my blog at the time)
God... why? I don't understand how this could happen. How could it not be Laura? How did they not find out until 5 weeks later?

To even begin to explain how one deals with this is hard, and in all honesty I do not know how those closer to Laura, her family and roommates, did deal with this. It is a storm that one can only turn to God for help to get through. All I know is that I cannot think of it with out crying... and it's two years later.

But it is two years later, and healing has taken place. The Cerak's and the VanRyn's just published a book about the ordeal.

And this month the memorial chapel is being dedicated... more specifically on the 2 year anniversary of the accident. I intend to be there.

That all being said, although I'm not happy that I, or anyone, went through this storm... it has changed us all. And the students who were lost will never be forgotten.

"Let's go TU Lax! Come on girls, hustle!"