A Dying Breed?

This weekend I was confronted by a harsh reality, not a new one, but a harsh one nonetheless: singleness. I do not know when it happened but somewhere along the road I seemed to have missed the boat. It seems that most people my age are either married, serious, or long term relationships (or getting out of them). This fact was hit home when I went to a movie alone and was surrounded by the couples. When did we get to this point? And how did I seem to miss the relationship boat?

Some of my friends blame my "high standards" for my current singleness, which roughly translates to my daydreams of a Prince Charming saving me... walking in and being strong, etc, etc, etc.

But, how did I miss the fact that at this point in my life there is supposed to be some semblance of a serious relationship

I mean, I have noticed and put on the obligatory smile when I hear about another friend entering into a relationship. Continued to smile and show excitement when I hear that they are engaged. But each time I am left wondering why. Are we really at the age to be getting married and having children? I mean, we are only in our mid twenties.

All that I have realized, but this weekend I also came to realize that many of my friends, although not on the "marriage tract" are still in serious relationships -- relationships going on into years, cohabitating, etc.

And then out of what seemed like nowhere I heard that one of my friends was talking to her boyfriend about kids. Mind you both are medical students. Maybe not this year or next, but talking about having or adopting kids. When my roommate acted surprised at hearing this bit of news this friend's comment was that she was a year older than E. That freaked me out a little, cause this friend and I are the same age.

This past weekend I met up with one of those friends that has a serious long term, non-marriage tract relationship. Even this friend thought it was weird that people were getting married... and was even more disturbed by the fact that some of our classmates from high school have children.

I am glad that some people have made it to that stage in their lives, but I feel like my life is many years behind. I cannot even begin to image being ready to be married, let alone having kids. The only thing that I can closely imagine is a relationship.

Which leads to the question, when did being single in your mid-twenties make you a dying breed? And if we are a dying breed when does our Prince Charming come along? Cause surely something has to happen at some point, right?

Proscratinations

1. Genderanalyzer
This has been going around the interweb/blogosphere for a little bit, but I finally jumped on the band wagon.

Well at least I'm "gender neutral." Good thing the name of my blog has a woman's name in it... cause otherwise you all might be confused. Really?! (P.S. In case you missed it: definitely a girl)

2. Honesty box
So I added honesty box awhile ago and have only gotten 3 comments, which believe me is more than I expected. But I have to share them.... cause they either make me laugh a lot or smile (for those unfamiliar with honesty box, blue means it's from a boy, genius, I know):

Replies
Today's: Haha.... guess you'll have to find that out on your own. I will let on that I'm not as good as I may seem...
Nov 17th's: Ummm... thanks? I can't determine if you're being serious or trying to make a joke here. But either way, that's cool.
July 12th's (which I think is from my friend John): Wow... thanks. That's one of the nicest things someone has ever said to me.

As for the finding out who they're from. Not going to. First of all, they were left anonymously. And the finding out thing means that you have to offer "Honesty Bucks" or something of the sort and pay to find out. I'm cool with the compliments.

On that note: Anyone else have fun anonymous/unanonymous compliments, etc. that they find amusing about themself?

Coldplay + Jay-Z

Brilliant. Love it!

Another Quotation Fail

The coffee machine in our school cafeteria:

... because we are not really sure if there's actually 2 cup sizes.

This is the same machine that has an "additive" of "whitener", which we assume means creamer. But might also mean our coffee machine is a little racist.

Please note: the use of quotation marks to quote actual words used on the machine.... not added for emphasis.

On the Misuse of the Quotation Mark

Okay people, I know I do not have the best grammar in the world, but I need to clarify some points about grammar (and current news headlines):

This is the pregnant man. If you have not heard the story you are living under a rock. Apparently he is pregnant again, thus reappearing in headlines and on the syndicated network talk shows.

Do not get me wrong, I am all about the trany - no issues there (personally I am very straight, but I understand that some people might not feel like they are the right sex... but that gets into a lot of other issues).

That being said, let us clarify: He is still a she. When it comes to the mind, he is a he. When it comes to the outward appearance, he is a he. However, when it comes to the internal stuff: He has a uterus; All his cells are XX, not XY. He is naturally a she. Cool?

On that note, I do not really understand what the big deal about him being pregnant is, considering that we are just talking about another person with a uterus. It's not like he surgically had a uterus transplant and is now carrying a baby in a body that is naturally XY; Nope, we are still talking normal XX body doing normal XX body things.

That all being said, let us talk about the misuse of the quotation mark ("..." not '...'). Now quotation marks are generally used for a few purposes that most (albeit, not all) people get right: Titles of poems; Quoting prose or poetry, etc.

However, a third use is to offset ironic use of words (or words used with reservation or in unusual ways). That makes me think that we are misusing the quotation mark when it comes to the whole pregnant man issue.

Most sources have been using it as such: "pregnant" man.

I would like to put forth that the correct use is actually: pregnant "man."

While using the word pregnant with man is a little unusual, I think we can conclude that the "man" is acutally the more ironic word/ word used with more reservation, you know, considering the fact that it is actually a women living as a man. There is also the fact that he is in fact pregnant... not ironically pregnant or pregnant with reservation. Nope. Pregnant is pregnant.

Any other thoughts on the issue?

On that note I should go "study", and by that I mean continue staring at my over 200+drugs and 200 pages of psychiatry notes. (Tests start tomorrow, boo).

Little Things Late at Night

For those of you unfamiliar with some of my previous posts, let me enlighten you a little about medical students (or at least this medical student):
1. We never have cash on us
2. We study all the times
3. We need little bits of encouragement to get us through

Sometimes these little bits of encouragement come to us in the form of food, whether it's buying our dinners at little cafes around school or simply getting snacks at 10pm from the vending machines in the school cafeteria as a study break.

This year I have found myself strangely attracted to D3 on the vending machine: Peanut Butter M&Ms. Why might you ask? Snickers tend to be a little too heavy/ rich at times, we can rule out the skittles (chips, etc) because chocolate is a necessity, plain M&Ms are just too plain, and although Peanut M&Ms are trying real hard, they just don't make the cut.

That brings us back to point 1, medical students never have cash on them. Enter the amazing school ID card with money on it and the little swipey thing on the vending machine.

Until about a week ago me (and many of my friends) had it all when it came to getting our Peanut Butter M&Ms. And then suddenly, for reasons we do not know, the Peanut Butter M&Ms disappeared from our vending machine.

About 2 nights ago, after lamenting the loss of our beloved snack with some friends, I decided to be proactive and stuck a sticky note with the following message on the vending machine:


Now we were all a little concerned about a few things:
1. What if the janitors steal our message away before the vending machine gods got our message.
2. What if the vending machine gods are offended by calling them men.
3. What if the vending machine gods are just plain offended.

Thus began the wait.

Today in an attempt to take a break from studying and get a little bit of something to increase my happiness I went down to the vending machine (with card in hand, ready to swipe).

And here I say once again: I WIN!

The Peanut Butter M&Ms are back in their rightful place.

So vending machine gods... Thank you so much. You have made many a med student, especially this one, very happy. Which is such good karma for you considering next week is another week of hellish tests.

How Could People...

... have watched this and not done anything for more than 10 hours?

(as always, click the image to open up the CNN article, sorry about the quality, not using Awesome, aka my mac)

Taken from the article:

• The cause of death was found to be an overdose of benzodiazepine, an
  antidepressant, as well as other opiate drugs used to treat depression, Crane
  said.
• She said he did not take anything on camera, according to footage she
  reviewed, but he blogged between 3 and 4 a.m. Wednesday that he had taken an
  overdose of drugs. He also posted a suicide note.
• He was seen lying on his bed on the streaming video, posted on the Web site Justin.tv. On the site, a person can stream video from a Web camera while "viewers" chat with each other in a box next to the video, Crane said.
• The comments and video have since been
  removed from the Web site. Crane read the comments posted during the 10
  hours the youth could be seen lying on his bed.
• As the teenager was lying on his bed, she said, people were typing things like, "Oh, that's not enough to kill you." Others, she said, were egging him on, saying things like "Go ahead and do it." Still others thought it wasn't real, Crane said.
• About 11 a.m. Wednesday, Crane said, some viewers began to get concerned, writing things like, "He's not moving" and "He's not breathing."One contacted the site's moderator to get the youth's contact information, she said, and the police were notified.

How did people sit there and watch and not do anything!? How could they have said the things they did?

This is so utterly disturbing to me... not the fact of the suicide (which is disturbing, but a sad occurrence), kind of that it was videocasted, but more so the reactions (or lack thereof) of the people who actually watched it all happen.

I have beat the system

I have been trying to find a way to share this song for months. Haha... I win.

Failing General Rules

So I have general rules (which I usually don't realize until I'm facing them). Some of them apply to other people/ social interactions and some of them apply to me. For example:

• Don't drive in the left lane unless you are passing slow people... if you're driving slow enough for me/others to have to slow down then you're not driving fast enough and should move over until you are passing more people.
• Don't take up all 4 outlets at the coffee shop - it just rude. If you need to charge your phone, iPod, computer, and electronic dog walker, do it at home. Be courteous and share the plugs.
• Don't eat unless you're either bored out of your mind or hungry

The last one has become a problem as of late, and not in the way you'd think. Studying has somehow made my body hate me. You see... I'm never hungry. I might have referenced this before, but it's true. On Sunday I went to a coffee shop to study on my way home. At about 10 pm (when they closed) I threw out my coffee, which I'd been nursing since about 2 pm and headed home. Once home I realized that I was feeling a little light headed. It was now 11 pm and I realized that I hadn't eaten anything since lunch, and even then I ate very little (which brings me to the rule about not eating after 11 cause the food just sits in your stomach while you sleep).

Repeat on Monday. And again tonight.

How is it that my body has not been able to signal me to the fact that it is running on 1000 cal (daily requirement being about double that for a sedentary person) until I'm to the point of light-headedness? What happened to thalamus? Why is it not sending signals to eat? Where is the grummbly stomach?

Anyways, tonight I was at the coffee shop and it was about 9 pm when I realized that all I had eaten today was a small quiznos veggie (which was delicious) and a cookie. Thus lead me to conclude that I should probably get something else to eat since I still had a few more hours to put in and had the vaguest sense of light-headedness coming on.

Answer: Taco Bell of course.

On my way to school to study I determined to stop and grab a little something to pull me through the night... only to find that Taco Bell was closed. To quote my friend Jacki, "How can TB be closed? They're open late. What about fourth meal?"

Answer: McDonalds... which doesn't have many options for the veggie friends.

So I grabbed a fruit and walnut salad and fry to help sustain me.... only after eating it I'm now currently feeling like crap.

WTF body?!

I'm a little confused here. I don't eat and you make me almost pass out. I eat and I feel like crap. What do you want from me!? We really need to come to a truce or at least a mutual understanding. If you make me realize that I'm actually hungry at appropriate times I will kindly oblige. But, when you don't let me know that I need to eat until it's 10pm and we're having CNS issues, you need to be kind enough not to give me GI issues as well.

Back "Home"

** One of those annoying posts where I make a list of things I like.

Home is such a relative word. I use it when I'm leaving my apartment to go to my parents, and then use it again when I'm leaving my parents to go to my apartment. Both are home, which makes talking about home confusing at times.

Anyways, I'm back home at my apartment after almost a week at home with the parents. It was just what this "doctor" ordered. I initially went home because I had to get away from all the stressors of school and just study on my own.

Now going home and studying usually don't mix well for me for a few reasons:

1. My mother - I love my mom dearly, but she is constantly doing something and including me (which I more than happily do).
2. My dad and brother - I usually don't see much of them cause my dad wakes up crazy earlier and works while my brother stays out crazy late and sleeps half the day. But it is good to see them.
   
3. My dog - Izzy is a princess, she cannot be home with someone without that someone paying attention to her. If I'm studying at the table she will sit next to me and cry until I pet her. She's adorable, but also obnoxious at times.
4. My internal reset button - When I'm living on my own I go to bed at 12 or 1 and wake up at 7 or 8 (depending on the day). Now there are also weeks when living on 6 hours a night is a luxury, but 6-7 hours is generally the norm. However, when I'm home my body does this wacky thing where it senses the "home" and switches to "resetting the sleep clock mode". I blame this on always coming home completely spent and needing to catch up on sleep. But it doesn't help the studying when you're sleeping 10 hours at night -that's 3-4 hours of time lost.
   

I do love home though. My mom makes food (or gives me money for food). I can play with my dog. There's cable (my roommate and I got rid of it last year when they doubled our internet and cable to $130/month.... we couldn't justify paying that much when we barely watched tv to begin with... now we just catch up on shows online). There's familiarity and comfort. Home is good for the soul.

However, coming back home to my apartment definitely has it's pluses.

1. Everything has its place - My room at home (parents) is the one I had in middle school, before upgrading to my parent's old room after the addition was done (thus this room becoming my brothers). My high school room was given to my brother sometime during college. The problem is that while the small room is nice it still doesn't feel like mine, even with all my childhood furniture. It's painted blue (brother) and nothing has a place... I live out of a suitcase on a bench, which is fine for about a week, but then gets old. Coming home to my apartment means that I places for everything (the dirty clothes get stuck in their designated place at the bottom of the closet awaiting laundry day, my clean clothes are hung if I'm ambitious enough to actually take them out of the laundry basket, I have my desk/ living room to study in, etc).
2. No pressure to shower - I know, sounds silly. But there's just days that I like to shower at night, or at 3 pm. I'm weird. But at home (parents), I always feel like I have to shower to start the day or my mother will give me her "all-knowing" look and I will feel shamed. It's getting better, but still. Case - today I'm showering at 11ish, cause I'm just studying and don't have to be at school until 1.
   
3. My bathroom - I'm kind of spoiled here... my roommate and I have a 2 bedroom/2 bathroom apartment. And my bathroom is attached to my bedroom. Not only is it my bathroom, but again, everything has it's place... it's comfortable. And it's green (a color my mom hates, especially on walls)
4. Alone time - I go home to get away, but I can come back to my apartment to be alone (except for when my roommate comes home)
5. No pet hair - 'nuff said.
6. Friends - probably the most important aspect. I miss my friends while I'm home - and their IMs/texts asking me when I'm coming back always makes me want to come back sooner. At home (parents) I don't have many people - they've all moved on and moved away, leaving my parents to hang out with. Back here I have a life - interactions, coffee shop studying/ gossiping. I need people - sometimes I need to get away from the stress of people/school, but in the end... I really do need them.

That all being said. I really need to study again... I have a very large chart of drugs that must be learned, along with some other crappiness.

May you all find the joys of your homes, wherever they may be... But most importantly, may your friends continue to be awesome.

Pathetic

This is why I never have and never will be a Lions fans. And with that I say: GO COLTS!

Oh Disney Movies

Someone posted a video from Sword and the Stone on their blog earlier this week and it got me to thinking about how amazing Disney movies used to be. I remember opening our movie cabinet and having my pick of all the Disney classics.

Disney movies have always held a very special place... which is why when, in college, I came home to steal all my Disney movies and realized they were gone, I was rather upset.

What is so amazing about all these movies is that they have that old animation quality to them. Don't get me wrong, I still love my Finding Nemo, but I love the dulled colors of the old movies. And I love the old plastic VHS covers. The big white ones that you have to pull open. They just make me so happy.

Just because I'm feeling nostalgic, here's some of my favorites from when I was a kid (get ready it's like all of them):
- Sword and the Stone - still have an obsession w/the Arthurian legends
- Cinderella - one of the few ones my mom someone didn't sell in a garage sale
- Sleeping Beauty
- Bambi
- Dumbo
- The Little Mermaid
- Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
- Pinocchio
- Alice and Wonderland - so much so that I have it in book form
- Peter Pan
- Lady and the Tramp
- Jungle Book
- Aristocats

Now there's also a lot of other Disney movies that I love, but they are what I consider the next generation of Disney movies (things like Mulan, Pocahontes, Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, etc.

When I asked my mom about them this weekend, she was like: well, we could always get them on DVD... Firstly, not the same. Secondly, they're all locked up in the Disney vault (Boo Disney Vault).

So, what are your favorite Disney movies? Doesn't sitting down and watching one just make you want to smile?

I know Cinderella and I have a date for when I get back to my apartment.

Random Pilfered Photography

I don't know... it's just one of those days.

Bail out for the big 3?

As always, the image is a link to the article.

Some random, disconnected quotes to think about:

• The auto industry supports one of every 10 jobs in the United States. A recent study estimated that 3 million jobs nationwide could be lost in one year if these companies are allowed to fail. The devastating impact would be felt in every state and by all kinds of employees.
• It is a national-security, energy-security imperative to produce advanced batteries and next-generation biofuels here at home.
• But time is of the essence. America's auto industry is in crisis.
• Beyond the $25 billion in loans already approved to help GM, Ford and Chrysler modernize their manufacturing facilities and operations to build more fuel-efficient vehicles, Washington needs to get additional funds to this critical industry with the same urgency they showed in sending help to the financial institutions.

Why Is Health Care So Expensive?

shared by KevinMD.

Simple Pleasures

Last month I can to the following conclusion: It is impossible to sit through 7 hours of lecture and then manage to study that material without getting ridiculously behind.

This lead to a major conversion: I have become a streamer. I do not "attend" class anymore, at least not in the traditional sense. I attend my 7 hours of lecture in my living room/ coffee shop and it only takes 4 hours. Thus allowing me 3+ extra hours to try and get through material.

By converting I have also come to another realization. I do not actually have to be in the same city of school to "attend" school. Thus, I came home! I needed to get away from all the anxiety of school -- thus I am attending my classes from an hour and a half away.

How amazing is that?!


And now back to the studying.... Boo.

What You Need to Know...

... before starting medical school.

Taken from the Mothers in Medicine blog... and so true.

What My Medical School Acceptance Letter Didn't Say (but maybe it should have)

Congratulations! You've made it to medical school. All of your hard work, community service, pretending to be interested in anesthesiology in order to be able to shadow a physician (any physician), over-involvement in extra-curricular activities, long nights spent studying whilst your English major roommate goes out and enjoys the college experience, and never, ever getting to schedule all your classes on only Tuesdays and Thursdays (so the better to enjoy a 4 day weekend) has finally paid off. Well, sort of. We'll get to that "payment" issue in a minute.

Right now you are, no doubt, a very "big fish" in a little pond. You are probably known as the smartest, most ambitious, and most masochistic, ahem, of all your friends. In medical school, you'll be surrounded by 100 + of people just as smart, ambitious, and masochistic (if not more so) than you. You will probably be, maybe for the very first time in your life, average. And as much as that may give you angina right now, you need to know that "average" is actually ok! No, really!

You thought you studied hard in college, but you are in for a surprise. You *did* study harder, relatively, than anyone else you knew. You also routinely got paid off in As. In medical school, you will sit in the same position for 8-9 hours a day, pausing only for bathroom breaks and pasta, reading, re-writing notes, and reading again, only to score an 80% on your exam. You need to go to lecture, but if you don't go to lecture, then you need a good note service, and, unless you are a hell of a good transcriptionist, if your medical school employs a lot of professors with thick accents, then you will probably need to ante up the cash for someone else to transcribe "your share" of note service lectures. Take some time to go "off campus" for lunches with your friends, and allow yourself to skip a lecture for a mental health hour every now and then. It will be worth it.

The first two years of medical school, you will work, and study, and take tests, and drink copious amounts after tests, and wonder why in the world you ever wanted to go to medical school. Keep the faith. The MD/PhD candidate that sits next you in the third row and your gross anatomy lab group will likely form the core of your best friends throughout your four years together, even though at times you want to throttle all of them. Familiarity breeds contempt, but you are all going through the same hellacious experience. You will value these memories, even if you don't believe it now.

You will have a med school fling. It will be fun, but won't last (and you'll be totally ok with that.) You will make mistakes. You will fail (yes, I said FAIL) a test. You will cry, a lot. You will feel like everyone else smarter than you. You will wonder, more than once, if you have chosen the wrong path. You haven't. You will eat too much, drink too much, and exercise too little. Try to take better care of yourself, that extra hour of studying probably won't make a difference, but that hour of exercise could mean a healthier you four years from now. Don't forget about your family and friends. Try to stay in touch with the people that mean the most to you. Their support is important. Life is going on outside your little microcosm, and you'll be sorry that you lost touch with the friends that knew you before you became a med bot.

Once you start clerkships, you will remember why you started doing all of this in the first place. Taking care of patients! You will *like* what you are doing again, and, all of the sudden, some of the lectures that seemed like absolute nonsense will actually begin to become more clear. No matter what you think you may want to do, clerkships will change your perspective on everything.

Be a good student. Know your patients. Have the patient seen and the notes written before your (overworked) intern hits the floor. Keep a running list of scut that needs to be done on *all* patients on your service (not just *your* patients, remember, you are working as a team) and be sure it is done before you leave the hospital. Check in with your resident/intern often, they are too busy to page you, but you may get to see (and do) some cool stuff if you stay visible. Learn how to write orders and practice whenever you can. Do everything you can to make your resident's life easier. Write prescriptions, skeletonize discharge orders ahead of time, and offer to get them food if you notice they haven't eaten. Stick close to your resident on call, but *go to bed* if they tell you to go! Don't try to show off how much you know, it is obnoxious and will likely come back to bite you. One of your patients will likely die, and you will never forget it.

Once you find out what it is that you want to do when you "grow up," be sure to make yourself known to the residents and attendings in that specialty. Ask lots of questions. Find a resident that needs help with research and offer your data gathering skillz. If it is a surgical specialty, make an effort to scrub in on as many cases as you possibly can. Center your fourth year electives around the specialty early in the year, so you can make the proper connections for letters of recommendation. Make yourself invaluable to your team. It will serve you well no matter what specialty you choose.

Even if you have met the love of your life, and think that January is a wonderful time to get married, think twice about planning a wedding in January of your fourth year. That is right in the height of interview season, and you will cause yourself undue stress trying to plan interviews around your wedding! The good news is, it is quite possible to nurture a fledgling relationship through the stresses of medical school (and it will prepare your spouse to be twice as awesome as he supports you through the worse stresses of residency!)

When you finally finish medical school (it is a marathon, not a sprint!), you will not be the same person that you were. You will be in debt up to your eyeballs, literally. It will take you years (some as an indentured servant) to pay off hundreds of thousands of dollars just for the privilege of being tortured, erm, learning for these last four years. You will realize that you will never be "rich," like your classmate that quit second year because he was making more money day trading stocks than the average family medicine attending. However, you will be a physician...fallible, over-educated, and under socialized, and you are going to help patients in ways you never even considered when you first sent in your application.

All the best of luck (you could use a little of that, as well),



Future Dr. Whoo

Yes We Did

I know I've shared this before, but it just seems right to share it again right now.

Congrats to President elect, Barack Obama!

Somewhat Rhetorical Question

Do you ever wish you could turn back time? Go back to a time when life seemed easier and happier? Get rid of the stupid decision that you might have made?

Medical School and Suicidal Ideations

Recently a comment was left on one of my posts about an article in the NY Times. The article was a snippet about an article written by Pauline Chen, the author of Final Exam, a book I read (and enjoyed) before starting medical school.

The article written by Dr. Chen was spot on. It talks about how professors try to “humanize” the first 2 years of medical school and support extracurriculars, but that this doesn’t necessarily help. To quote the article, “Given the fire hose of information medical students must learn in just four years, how does one ever gently take a sip?… Despite my teachers’ efforts, I was about as miserable in medical school as I had ever been. I felt alone. Neither I nor my classmates could admit to failure, and that last thing I wanted to do was to let anyone but my close friends know just how unhappy I was. Success in medical school was the first step to the future of helping other, and I was not about to jeopardize that.”

The article goes on to talk about a general survey of medical students concerning their mental health. Half of the students met the criteria for burn out and 11% admitted to suicidal ideation with the past year.

To be honest I really don’t know where to begin with my thoughts on this article, but I’ll give it a try (and remember I’m currently only a 2nd year student). Please forgive me from my rambling in this post.

It is more than truth that medical school is a lonely time, however, it is a weird loneliness. It is one of the first times that I have been surrounded by so many people who understand me. All through college no one really understood the need to study all the time, or what made me tick. So in that sense, I do not feel alone. But you do when it comes to everything else -- you feel alone in your studies, even when surrounded by all your friends doing the exact same thing. It brings about bonding, but not in the same sense.

I feel that I have been lucky in some regards to have made some very good friends (or at least ones that I can be completely open with), but that does not make failure any less of a lonely place.

This past month has been one of the hardest in my academic career. I had 7-8 hours of class a day and was studying about 10 hours a day on top of that (including eating while studying). The other 6 hours were spent sleeping. Even then there was too much information to actually get through more than twice before the exam…. Sipping from the fire house was and never will be an option. An analogy my roommate mentioned the other day was standing in the ocean with huge waves coming at you and over you, it’s enough of a challenge just to catch a breath before another wave crashes you down.

In that regard you have to wonder what the point is -- you cram information for a month only to dump it the day after an exam so you can cramp another 500 pages of dense information for the text the next day. Are we really learning at that point?

But back to the main point of the article -- burn out and suicidal ideation. That only 50% of those surveyed admitted to burn out means that some people are fooling themselves. Everyone I know in medical school has experienced burnout. It actually becomes a fairly constant friend of most medical students. There is no way a person can be alone for days on end with only their books, studying until they cannot see straight (or need a new contact prescription), and not reach burn out.

This past unit we started psychiatry and some of what we covered were mood disorders. By the end of the unit I had at least 4 of the 8 criteria for an major depressive episode (not including suicidal ideation)… and in talking to many of my friends they were right there with me -- sleep disturbances, lack of energy, overeating or lack of hunger, lack of interest in anything… we were all just going through the motions of trying to learn. I could go on but I think that gets the point across. I think that if we were all honest, we would have been diagnosed as having an MDEs.

Granted one of the criteria for major depressive disorder is suicidal ideation. While I don’t think any one of us would actually admit to having suicidal ideations -- we do joke about it often enough that you have to wonder about some people. And even if there is not suicidal ideation there is enough stress and other issues that are leading people to masochistic actions and impulsive, dangerous behaviors.

Medical school is not a friendly place when it comes to mental health. I would say that most of us need to be talking to psychiatrists, but ironically, we barely have enough time to learn about the material, let alone take care of ourselves (and that does not just stop at mental health). It’s sad when you think about it, but it’s nonetheless true.

Where does that leave us? Something needs to change. Firstly, I think that each medical student should be seeing someone to talk through issues they are having, or at least have time blocked out somewhere for personal maintenance. Secondly, the traditional view of teaching the minutia needs to be revisited. Although it’s important to understand the underlying science, is it really necessary to know what part of what protein interacts with the receptor? Or just that it does? What do we actually need to know before embarking in our true careers?

Decreasing the demands, not only academically but extracurricularly, placed on medical students would improve our health substantially.